Really looking forward to the inspirational backstory of Dick in a Box conveyed in a visual medium.

Formerly the punchline to an old Polish Space Agency joke.

Nothing good happens after 9:30.

It gives you a sense of power and control during your pointless existence in this crazy, mixed up world- until an angry/sad friend or loved one uses it on you and/or themselves because you left it unsecured. This is what the founding fathers envisioned, and it shouldn’t be questioned.

The Cleveland Browns really blow the curve for the 17th state.

tl;dr “dinger fatigue”

Can you picture American(-ish) workers walking off the Amazon assembly line triathlon en masse? Why or why not

Betting where a chicken shits for a quarter at a time? I’m definitely in.

Wait- Fresno has an Apple Store? 

“Sliced hot dogs in your mac and cheese- when there isn’t time for a proper tuna casserole” -a single mother of two, Northern California, 1978

Great Mazinger or GTFO

A MacGruber sequel first though, please and thank you.

Klumsy

“Nothing to see here”

It’s almost like judges are too judgy or something. ¿Was it ever the learned, unbiased third branch of checks and balances the gun totin’ hemp smokin’ 35 year old white dudes who manifest destinied the shit out of the last, highly defensible continent (two vast oceans, and only polite Canadians and zesty yet…

No coffee for you.

Where’s the goddamn biopic starring Charlize? We needed this yesterday, people— chop chop!

Rather like the idea, all of a sudden, of judges and DA’s sampling the evidence to decide how to rule or charge.

Hide yer dóttirs, sons.

3rd of April, 2002—I was in the summer of my 23rd year, and...well...nay— I shan’t go on