Or not lose the ball like it just turned into one of the glowing stones from Temple of Doom

Don’t worry, the CGI guys will put a more coordinated player over him in post-production.

Poor Ryan. They knocked the h out of him.

Leave it to noted shithead Pete Carroll to run a fake punt while up 21 points with 5 minutes left.

I really feel bad for the Patriots. With all of the cheating, winning, and Donald Trump supporting going on there, how could you not?

The McAdoo playbook

“After gettin’ the call from the box don’t let that pigeon go to waste. That’s good eatin’ there.”

“Should’ve just used my set.”
-Jim Tomsula

Yeah, when you’re more embarrassing than the cradle of the confederacy, something has gone horrendously off the rails.

That gave me a thought. I hope every coach, sideline reporter, and player who’s not dressed out wears a Sager-like sport coat tonight. That would be a nice tribute.

This is my problem with the way these events/alleged events are reported here and elsewhere: every time a witch hunt gets started and then it turns out it was wrong, it damages the credibility of future, real assault allegations.

Went back to read the comments on the original story. Maybe we should just hold off on publicly shaming everyone accused of a crime until all the facts are in. Just a thought. And kudos to Deadspin for posting a follow up. A lot of media outlets probably aren’t going to bother.

I thought Lane Kiffin was the only one who fell upwards.

One is a pinnacle of artistic achievement in my opinion; the other is a movie where Buster Keaton did a really intricate stunt.

and won arbitration, never paying Kiffin another cent.

Kiffin has, or is in the process of, getting a divorce. So he’ll be free to pursue all the college girls and boosters wives his heart desires.

Why oh why couldn’t he have landed the Rams job? It might not be what he deserves, but it’s what we deserve.

...and he’s been working overtime, cranking out dank offenses for Nick Saban the past three years.

I’m sure his wife will just love it in Boca Raton and that won’t be an issue at all by October 15 of next year.

The term dank should only be used to describe dive bars that are disagreeably damp, musty and cold. Example: