Why would I be making the same argument if he was actually doing poorly? .252 .370 .490 simply isn’t the catastrophic line you are declaring it to be.

Even goofier is you promising to bump this again when you just did it after he’s been playing MUCH better, and all just to quote a rando ESPN article throwing out…

This was a weird bump.

As before, the Harper deal in no way even remotely resembles being some kind of “WORST DEAL EVAR,” for the Phillies, and he still remains on pace for at least a 5 fWAR season that’ll be worth right about $40 million dollars even if he just lowballs those projections.

And Brantley remains, as…

You’re talking about penises, aren’t you?

Oooooh, shades of Costas! The crustiest of all shades...

Which is really why you should use the hot dog shuttle service provided by the possums.

Nope; it should have been done a while ago.

The stadiums are designed to distract you no matter what age you are, even when players are at-bat. Vendors, stuff on the video boards, food and drink...the teams/orgs themselves are doing what they can to keep you from paying full attention.

And nevermind how fucking fast…

“Now that’s a freak OFF of a leash!”

For what it’s worth, this is from the Astros’ game thread on Reddit:

“She is going be OK according to my mom. She was 4 rows away and just talked to security guard who said they are taking her to hospital for precautionary but early signs are good.

Jordan would never Tweet himself; he’d pay (and treat like shit) a team of peons to tweet all kinda of Jordan branded shitposts.

But in the end it’s a trick question because Jordan probably actually still uses ICQ since, like the way he dresses, he is forever trapped in 1996.

Ask the Rangers about what? Over those 10 years (had he been with them the whole time, and on that original deal) he was worth just about $340 million.

Given Harper’s age and production to this point, it’s unlikely that this contract will be any kind of true albatross for the Phillies unless their owners/FO decide that…

I have no idea what you think “Oh and 1.5 war for 330m” means; they didn’t pay him all the money up front, and the 1.5 fWAR is what he’s been worth so far; he projects to finish the year with a 5+ fWAR. They’re paying him essentially just $25 million and some change a season, and he’s trending like he’s going to put…

“we’re like a week away from “Kevin Durant Just Tweeted His Whole Scrotum Into the Fucking Sun.””

I’m confused as to why this would be a bad thing...

Dude has a career K% of 21.5

The end of the season where, even to this point, he’s already been worth 1.5 fWAR, he’s trending for a 5+ fWAR finish, and his already been worth approx $12 million dollars?

Can confirm:

Wow. It’s incredible (and incredible scary) what you went through, but it’s even more incredible that you’re still able to bring us stuff like this after the fact. We’re lucky to have you, but that can’t even compare to how lucky and grateful your family and friends must feel.

Way to take on (literal) BIG BRAIN and…

Damn, did I do that?  I thought I was in the greys here; sorry!

He was born in Chicago, you simple, silly creature.

A pitch clock would pretty much automatically kill the batter rituals.