You don’t even know what the hell you want with this take.

Maybe the best thing about the BFiB (besides the obvious) is the hysterically absurd insistence that Molina is a slam-dunk, no doubt Hall of Famer. Molina is a very good catcher! But come the fuck on; that would be like insisting that Mark Grace somehow belongs in the Hall.

Because study after study shows that, by and large, torture simply doesn’t work. As mentioned already, the most common result is that the person being tortured only ends up telling the torturer what they think they want to hear. Torture impairs cognitive function to the point that even if the being tortured knows…

It ends up on Hulu, too.

“mancard?”

Ah, but that’s why it was such a missed opportunity! IB came out only the year after that Zohan movie, and Zohan-Sandler was an inexplicably jacked Sandler. Plus I think something like Punch-Drunk Love shows that if you just throw a slightly different light on the type of character Sandler usually plays, it comes…

Given the film, I don’t think “believable” was too much of a concern, especially given Roth’s performance.

At this point when I see him in IB it just makes me wish more and more that Adam Sandler had been able to play that role as Tarantino wanted.

“I mean, the Giants paid a ton of money for Jeff Samardzija and then we had a lousy season. He had a pretty bad season as well.”

In 2017? He had arguably the second or third best season of his career; the guy was worth 3.8 WAR and just over $30 million according to FanGraphs. Yeah, he gave up a few more HRs than usual,…

Wait, what local businesses have the Cubs replaced? The McDonald’s across the street?

Well, at least there’s Laura Ricketts.

“And the Gronk hit was a no-brainer.”

Technically that applies every time Gronk is tackled, so you’re going to have to be more specific. 

Hey, you can never have too many commercials about the fire hazards of plugging too many things into the damn wall strip.

To be fair, this is exactly the kind of shithead thing the “real” Andy Sipowicz would be spouting into the void in 2018, so maybe this guy is just really dedicated to the bit.

“Only a .285ish hitter?” Are you my dad, who still inexplicably thinks anyone who hits less than .300 is just OK at best?

Right, but media outlets are ALWAYS going to make mistakes at times; it’s an impossible standard to expect them to be flawless, and that’s basically what Trump and co. are essentially demanding (between the lines of, “ANY NEWS I DON’T LIKE IS BAD”).

Soccer’s biggest knock against it her is that the MLS front office is run like a dumpster fire of a shitshow right now.

That’s what seems craziest to me about a “movement” like this; it’s like these people are convinced that things like the socioeconomic positions that white people (especially white males) tend to dominate or control are somehow an inherent part of “whiteness.” How the hell does THAT math work?!?

Seems like he wisely judged his friend by his friend’s stupid, stupid actions.

When Queens of the Stone Age started to break big, I had a theory that lead singer Josh Homme was just that dude from Deep Blue Something trying to start a new band. This was based solely on them being gigantic musical redheads from Texas, but the default screen capture from the video makes me think maybe I was on to…