“We can’t go to North Carolina. They’re socially backwards and perverted for their stance on what goes on in the bathroom. Let’s go the Penn State.”

I haven’t seen someone enjoy this many Cardinal losses since Henry VIII.

Samer, I hope you win a Pulitzer.

So white and so salty

Were you in Cleveland ?

This is me waiting for the best fans in baseball to angrily post and also for the Mitch Hedberg quote. Thank you for being the beacon of many a long day at work, Cards.

That’s weird, when I tried it with your girlfriend she was totally into it.

I tried this once with my girlfriend, did NOT end well.

15-22 at home is legitimately bad - all jokes aside, that’s fucking horrible...

No no, Cheslor Culbert is a Faulknerian manchild who talks like the vulture from those Bugs Bunny cartoons and Whit Merrifield is a corrupt Southern lawyer a la Kevin Spacey in Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil, it’s like you never ascribed a fictitious personality to someone based on their goofy names before,…

“Cub’s”?

Try not to lose any games on the way through the parking lot.

Cliff notes: I know you are but what am I?

This is why these need to continue. This comment is exactly why these blogs are so great.

Us plebes throwing around regular old “comments” don’t have what it takes to match up with the Best Commenter in Deadspin!

Pictured: A Cardinals player playing the game the right way. Too bad he was doing so with the wrong dootlin’ ball.

Three errors: The Right Way.

Just loving their terrible home record in front of America’s best fans....

“Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?” - Mitch Hedberg