Drink!

You’d think this joke would have become boring or tedious by about the nineteenth or twentieth iteration.

“Asshat Cardinals fan” is like saying “wet water."

Cards know all about it. When your like eight games below .500 at home, you know your team blows........

Hi Grandpa! I didn’t know you posted on deadspin.

I like to drink red wine. This girl says “Doesn’t red wine give you a headache?” “Yea, eventually. But the first and the middle part are amazing.” I’m not gonna stop doing something because of what happens at the end. “Mitch, do you want an apple?” “No. Eventually it’ll be a core.”

Once again a win wasn’t in the Cards.

Most people hate the Cardinals so...Probably!

The Cardinals plan to follow Jesus’s example and stop at 33.

Cubs went on a 9-game win streak last year and were still 7.5 games behind at one point last season, and the Cardinal memes were “BRAAAPPP LOOK HOW FAR OUT YA ARE BRAPPPPP.”

So, uh, kindly eat shit.

Finally, some Astros coverage!

I was beginning to believe you had stopped these Samer, since I didn't think this Cardinals team capable of winning 5 straight. My morning is significantly better now. Thanks!

No, I just ran out of Cardinals jokes after loss #9 or something. So I figured since we’re celebrating these wonderful Cardinals losses, we could also celebrate our greatest comedic loss, Mitch Hedberg.

In this time of nationwide mourning for a horrific act, and when a man who callously feeds off the very worst elements in society is among one of two people who will be our next president, it’s nice to know that there is still some good in the world as shown by these posts.

I know you’re all thrilled with the Cardinals finally losing, but it was nice to see something on fire in Eastern Missouri that isn’t the Ferguson AutoZone.

“Disagree!”

The greatest baseball prank is still Rick Manning having sex with Dennis Eckersley’s wife.

On the bright side, she’ll be putting those waitressing skills to use again soon enough.

Dyed and Prejudice by Emily Austen

Dammit, get to under .500 already!