I’m really happy for the Jumbotron operator, who got to mash the “Cycle” button for probably the first time.

one member of his family argued to put the shoe in the trash

Are we avoiding the use of “Amazon” like we do “Redskins” now? Have we been using a derogatory term originally used to refer to strong, large women?

Boston’s Brad Marchand was suspended

That seems like a secondary point. For me the biggest problem here is the shitty way the school handled it. Why would you time it like this? Why wouldn’t you give at least a full school year’s lead time so that students can make other plans?

Put some reflectors on the road side of those rocks! Come on people!

My dad loves your shit

Where your line of reasoning might break down is:

The announcer sounds like my old cat used to when we scratched the base of her tail.

Came for a Mortal Kombat joke, and was pleasantly surprised to also get an interrobang out of the deal.

Ha!

Just a coupla BMs, the both of them.

Also:

Wait, I feel like I’m still missing something. If Verlander got more votes how did he lose? Is the vote-counting more complicated than that?

Obligatory: Mary Carillo’s badminton rant.

Behold the sound of failure.

Jack

I say merge the Dakotas. We still get to share a currency with them but don’t have to worry about which has its capital in Pierre and which in Bismarck.