Major, die-hard, bordering-on-insane Shenmue fanboy here. I’m still waiting for this all to be exposed as a massive hoax, at which point I will be huddled in a ball in a corner of my basement clutching my dreamcast with an empty fifth of Jameson, weeping softly.

It doesn’t matter what the security question is, his answer is always “That’s a clown question bro.”

Greg Oden: [quietly vows to never, ever litter another condom]

This is the perfect metaphor for my life.

Fra-gee-lay. Must be Italian!

“What was your high school mascot?”

You should have seen what it looked like when this trophy exploded all over its owner.

I like my passwords like I like my martinis, dirty.

Word is he changed from “Cards1234” to “Astros1234” and switched his security question from “What was your first car?” to “What was your first pet’s name?”

*shrugs*

Michael Oher Says The Blind Side Was Bad For His Career

*sees “Shenmue” in title of article, clicks with wild abandon*

I may be biased, but I think 1 and 2 still hold up pretty well today considering their age. I encourage all who are curious about this series to give it a shot!

That’s not a bunt home run. This is a bunt home run.

Note: My (admittedly vague) headline has already confused at least one person, so I should clarify that it wasn’t actually “Tribute to the Browns night,” it’s just a funny joke about how much how much the Browns (and Indians (and Cleveland)) suck.

Still a hell of a lot less racist than the one they held in St. Louis.

Largest ovation of the night came when Michael Brantley crashed into the outfield wall in a touching tribute to Kellen Winslow II.

Since Cleveland was hosting, wouldn’t the score be 0-17, making it “Tribute to J.R. Smith Night?”

Steve Ballmer: What happens when the annoyingly intense middle-aged dad found on every cul-de-sac in suburbia becomes a billionaire.

They look like summer league jerseys.