If an entire factory of dildos exploded, and they were magic dildos that replicated 10 times under heat, that still wouldn’t be enough to fuck each and every one of these fuckers they way they deserve.

Oh come on. Roller derby is awesome.

Possibly? But I had that conversation with a friend of mine who had an awful girlfriend, and it resulted in the friendship being over for about 5 years.

My friend married someone who had wrecked his car three times, allowed his skeezy friends to come in and rob their home and steal his and his parents’ identity, kept “losing” expensive presents he was given, frequently took his car and stormed away, leaving him in a jam and needing to call me or other friends for a…

All your articles are about blacks this and blacks that! On a site written by black people about topics pertaining to black people! My eyes!

That’s probably less than Melania Trump has spent to look like Melania Trump, though.

I think I remember a story where JFK Jr handed Sinead O Connor a pen so she could write down her number for him, and she broke it in half and shoved it back in his pocket. That’s a good approach, if outdated.

Maya Moore is pretty much unbeatable. I say that with the pinched face of a Stanford basketball fan.

*raises hand* Don’t judge, it’s a neurosis.

Before Uber and Lyft, I tried to call a taxi in the middle of the work day to attend my mother’s funeral. After half an hour of trying to call a cab on three different phones, I could not get any dispatch to pick up. For half an hour. I finally called a limo service, who guaranteed they’d be there in time to get me to…

Kris Kobach is a dick.

You are. Salsa on grits is an abomination. I take mine with butter, pepper, salt, and cheese, preferably a slice of Kraft American singles, as my daddy used to prepare them for me.

I’ve decided that “Look What You Made Me Do” is actually a GoT tribute song, in which she is playing the role of Arya. It all fits.

There are other small cities— White Harbor, Lannisport...

Wow, you edited out something douchier than what’s here?

Does Randall Park have some sort of 28 hour day, 10 day week, and 100 week year? I feel like he’s in 15 different projects.

I honestly wish he felt this way. I want him to feel the psychic pain of his failure so badly, but he’s such a narcissist that he never fucking will. The entire country could be on fire around him and his family dead at his feet, and he’d be thinking about how it’s someone else’s fault and he really did an excellent…

Amazing how that always works. Did you also know that women tend to take their male partner’s name because just, by total coincidence, men happen to have cooler last names than women? It’s true.

Wow, look what Google found for me!

Totally true. The fact that when men enter a traditionally female field like nursing they end up being paid more says zero about how society values men and women and is simply because nursing is better done with your dick. That’s just biology, sheeple.