And likely is in such a public position because he has the cachet of being a former Guantanamo prisoner. That is, we made him into the symbol that he is today. Thanks, Dick Cheney!

Dear Buzz,

That’s a pretty dumb comment, even for a Republican. And I should know.

Hey, you could join my campaign team!

Like me!

You are my hero.

Because that’s how a businessman’s wife should dress when he gets home after a hard day of work making millions, like me.

And the C5 is YUUUUUUGE!

What do you expect? I mean, just look at that face!

Even I think she was AMAZING!

I asked everyone on my payroll and they all said I would be an UNBELIEVABLE President!

Daylight savings time, baby. I’m right three times today!

Obama: “Remember what happened to Bin Laden? Just saying’...”

But I was great! GREAT, I tell ya! Just ask my family, they love me. And I’m so huge with the military, it’ll make your head spin! I went to an expensive military-style prep school, so I know these things. And I was born rich (really, really rich!), so I must be smaht.

It does look a bit like me! It’s huge, bloated, and red-faced.

You’re almost as big of an asshat as I am. Almost.

Hey!

What a pussy.

Yankee tourists are the only reason Florida gator farms exist.

I agree 110%.