you're FUN

My spirit animal

Those are such abusive parents, having that processed, sugary, preservative-and-gluten-laden frankenfood in that house! And then to actually PUNISH this girl, rather than letting her navigate her unique circumstances come to her own conclusions about appropriate behavior! And then to SHAME her, by putting video of…

Wow. Hadn't seen Breaking Bad? What a LOSER

" Hi ! I'm Butters, and ill be your Genius today......ohhhh, i see the problem, a little

I've always believed in "Pics to prove"

About six years ago I met up with this weird vegan dude at a sleazy dive bar just across the river from my apartment. He looked nothing like his profile picture and had a collection of some of the worst goddamn tattoos I have ever scene.

Pissing contest? Please, I have a whole blog dedicated to how Online Dating Is Literally The Worst.

And there are PLENTY of actual pornstars that do not match that description.

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

It's just AIDS.

isn't it nice to read an unbiased report of an event? To be able to form your own opinion without first wading through the quagmire of someone else's prejudice?

Got a thing for dads, do you?...

Counterexample: Sunday afternoon in August on Park Avenue when you get all the lights green.

This is comparable to the Holocaust, isn't it?

The money that this will generate is to the New York City budget as a bucket of mop water is to the East River. It is almost not worth calculating how little this matters financially to the city. But conspiracy theories are fun!

You are vastly underestimating this city's transportation budget. We're spending F-35 money on a new subway line; less than a gross of cameras isn't going to break the bank.

Yeah, and in New York we only have the greatest museums, theater, art, shopping, and restaurants in America - arguably the world. Whereas in Vegas, Celine Dion does EIGHT SHOWS a week!

Whether we're talking about knives or luggage, Victorinox is synonymous with quality. The Fibrox comes with a lifetime warranty, an 8" high-carbon stainless steel blade, and a slip-resistant handle so you don't lose any fingers. [Victorinox Fibrox]

Whether we're talking about knives or luggage, Victorinox is synonymous with quality. The Fibrox comes with a…

Riding will also make you a better driver, but I can't imagine wanting to drive much once you get around with the correct number of wheels. Enjoy!