This???? Nope nope nope. It doesn't fit him and it makes him look like a photographic negative. I'm an inch taller than him and I'd never, ever wear something like that.

I don't plan on ever owning a velvet suit. I have a velvet dinner jacket, but velvet pants is a little much.

And yes, $40k in suits seems a little excessive, but less so when half of that value comes from two pieces.

I was an incredibly squeamish kid. I hated the sight of blood (my own or anybody else's). Then, when I was 16, I took a summer job working in a cancer research lab and doing quite a bit of, uh, animal work. Once I'd put down a few hundred rats by snipping their hearts out with scissors (after excising their tumors), I…

Sometimes you just gotta get all the wrinkles smoothed out. Botox or a commercial-grade clothes iron will do the trick.

Awful lot of (well deserved) mileage for this gif.

Worms: The Lube of Champions!

THERE??????????????????

"I went into peds"

Just another doctor pushing Big Pharma on someone who could've easily been cured by cutting gluten out of her diet. FOR SHAME

/sarcasm, in case you just back-to-backed and are too tired to realize

French onion or tomato bisque?

Pretty much. I do a fair amount of ebay and thrift store shopping. I buy underwear, undershirts, socks, and dress shirts new. Everything else is used. That's how I have $40,000 worth of suits and $15,000 worth of shoes. I like nice clothes, and I like good deals. And it doesn't hurt that my stuff isn't made by tiny…

$1,350,000 is a pretty decent salary.

"medium household income"

Do you mean median? And besides, making double median income in NYC is only about 100k. Not exactly enough to live well here.

You're not contributing to the profits of the sweatshop when you buy second hand. How is this not obvious to y-Oh. Communications major. Got it.

Two words: Cultural Appropriation.

As in, Wylie Dufresne, 50 Clinton Street.

Or just eat De Cecco which is almost pasta-like in its silence about LGBT+ rights and is significantly better than that Barilla garbage.

I'm used to food adverts being about "HEY GUYZ AT PIZZA HUT OUR NEW KRAZY KRUST PIZZA HAS A KRUST SO FULL OF TURDUCKENS YOU'LL SHIT BLOOD FOR WEEKS" so I'm strangely OK with microwavable pasta.

99% of advertising is pandering in some way. Findus clearly thinks that gay people buy pasta (who would have thought!) and want to tap into that market. If the advertising results in sales, it works. Pretty simple.

Feel. You. Brother.