My move is to make like I’m trying to plug/unplug/replug something under my desk at work while I clean up my face.

What weird mouth?

Can we please wait to hear what his GPA is before we rush to judgment?

Ashley needs to update the article with this one, I’ve never seen this one before and it’s much too far down in the comments. This is straight up Hugh Hefner + playmate.

It will be a brusque acknowledgement of her win followed by a tour of his new hotel.

The quiet removal of a lawn sign following the debate is a hilarious image.

He is very, very confident. I wish I had half his confidence. Also if you were an rich white male with terrible values, he’d probably be a blast to play golf with. That is everything I could come up with.

Maybe your arches are too high for the shoes and create a big fart-producing air pocket? If so you could stick a few cotton balls in your sock under your arch to see if that’s the problem area. Not a long-term solution obviously, but if it solves the issue you can reengineer it from there (eg. layered memory foam arch…

More like this, I reckon.

“You girls are too cute, gimme a hug goodbye.”

Because those commenters are so outraged we’re not doing enough for the mentally ill. Looking forward to hearing their proposals for helping the mentally ill! Surely their concern is genuine and not simple deflection. SURELY.

Ever get the feeling you’re an extra in someone else’s action thriller?

Ohio gave it to Bush in 2004, so they have set a precedent.

So how can we organize the next debate audience to sniff in unison every time he begins/finishes speaking? And will a coordinated snuffling protest be a greater violation than applause?

Ok great, that’s a relief! So long as there was no trip-interpreted-as-fainting or whatnot to detract from a night of solid debate performance, I’m satisfied.

Please tell me this is objectively true and not just confirmation bias, I’m too nervous to watch. I just want to fast foward to tomorrow morning and see every headline declare he was absolutely raked over the coals. And that his pants fell down too.

Fortunately, joggers (ie. tailored sweatpants) are all the rage now. Comfy and fashion-forward!

Bet the owner’s got a sizeable bill headed his way.

Looks like Hillary’s body double was one of the casualties. Who’s Trump gonna debate now???

How about as soon as Trump hands over HIS FUCKING TAX RETURNS. WHY ARE YOU NOT ASKING FOR THIS.