“The other lady” = Brigitte Macron.

Shut your mouth! Brigitte is a goddess!!

That other woman is super-hottie Brigitte Macron, wife of Emmauel Macron. She’s 64 (he’s 39) and the hippest, most gorgeous woman.

Right, but they all had to wear black because it’s a vatican rule or something.

Ah too bad. How about a cat?

Get him a dog.

So you married and then immediately realized it was a mistake, but kept going for six years? I kinda did that, but kept it going for twenty-five.

Well, someone has to pay for that trip.

I’m terrified that my kids will get married in their twenties. The twenties are for having fun.

Wake me when you write about the onesie, which is the truest piece of clothing a woman ever wore. You can wear a onesie to bed and then all through the day! I sometimes wear mine for 72 hours straight.

I separate frozen veggie burgers by taking out a big stack, taking the hugest knife from the rack, holding it in the air above the stack of burgers, and waiting for my partner to shriek, “NOOOOOOO,” and come do it for me.

I cannot chop an onion small enough, so I quarter it and throw it in the food processor. Perfect every time.

Yeah—I cut an avocado like a champ: slice in two, twist apart, smack a big knife into the pit, twist and pull out the pit. Then scoop out each side with a big soup spoon and slice the innards.

Are tattoos prohibited on plus-sized models?

Once she tosses her first salad it will land.

I’ve seen more “accidental” peen in my sixty years than I can itemize. Weirdly, it’s often “accidental” hairy, chicken-skinned scrotum than it is actual peen.

Was willing to give it a go...until I listened to the excerpt:

You’ll need to post a picture, so we can decide.

That’s what I want to know, dammit!!

Right, Brad, wherever you go, there you are.