You seem nice!

How about “ands”? Are there “ands”?

Ah.

Right?!! Holy fuck—Cathay Pacific!! I was totally confused by how nice they were to me!!!

Oh, I’m an equal-opportunity misanthrope. I have hate-ons for male celebrities as well (in fact, moreso): Sean Penn...Sean Connery...Sean Spicer...basically, anyone named “Sean.”

HA! I’m such a loser.

I wish SO much I could be a stoner but I can’t function when I’m high on weed and it makes me super negative. Booze works better with me, but it’s so bad for you and contains so many calories. I need a strain of weed that gets you booze high.

Yes, I’ve been happy to see the Anne Hathaway frontlash (by and large). Not that I’m against the pile-on; I just never found Hathaway painful or thirsty because I’ve seen her only in Rachel Getting Married (one of my favourite movies) and The Devil Loves Prada, and she was great in both.

I’ve always wondered whether couples who decided early on in their relationships not to have children tend to stay together longer.

HA—good for you!

I made the mistake of power watching the first six episodes of Season Three of American Crime and ended up feeling completely bereft of hope. This heartening story restores some of it.

I’m sixty and while I do tend to like music much younger than my demographic (to the embarrassment of my kids), I’d never heard a Harry Styles sone until last week when he was on SNL. Now I can’t get “Sign of the Times” out of my head—it’s such a 1970's-ish arrangement.

Me too.

Because no one appreciates your exquisite singing voice like your dog (when you’re singing his name).

But how about when you sing songs to them and replace every fifth word with their name?

Or at least own it and have a sense of humour about your own stupidity. I’m thinking Fay Dunaway’s “Well, I really fucked that up, eh?” line would be appropriate.

They are THE cutest couple alive.

I’m so confused that he’s 1) not American and 2) not gay.

Yes, you are right.

Yes, you’re right.