I think Doug may be trying too hard.

I know I'm still a little out of it due to all of the tequila from last night, but a lot of what I just read did not make sense.

This and the Julianne Moore paragraph. Nearly indecipherable.

I know, right? I started reading this DirtBag, paused at the third item, and was like, This is annoying as hell to read. Today must be a Doug day.

Retrofitted acting replicant Jesse Eisenberg will parlay his lucrative acting career and occasional "Shouts & Murmurs" scribbles into a less lucrative career as a short story writer, which he will then parlay into an even less lucrative career as a traveling fabulist in the German countryside

I've been pining for one of those. I feel certain they'll be very poplar.

If it doesn't vibrate it ain't worth it.

This guy is the definition of an appliance.

The surprise twist is a day later he tells the woman he can't respect her because she bought a refrigerator from him, and he's worried about what his daughter would think when she sees the sale on television.

i haaate when people refer to women/girls as "females". blechyuckbarf.

It's one of those things that when you actually have one you know. If you're thinking "did I have an orgasm or not?" you probably didn't. In my case I can literally feel it. My entire vaginal canal contracts repetitively and everything sort of seizes up. There is a definite sensation of build-up and then peaking.

What I mean is that because the show has them prosecuting when it wouldn't happen in real life it can set up a false belief that most rape cases even get to the point of filing charges let alone prosecuting to a guilty verdict. I can see why the show would do it because first they want to explore the topic/s of the…

New vocab word!!

A female what?

CLITORATI!!!

Wait, I thought the plot was about a "rape-joke comic" inspiring actual rapes.

Empty beer bottles, crumples newspapers, ash...YOU GUYS MY KITCHEN FLOOR IS A MASTERPIECE. I'M FINALLY USING MY ART DEGREE.

Megan Fox and her husband

That was such a mom thing to say (They're hiring you to be you.)

Its kind of a sign that Lena Dunham is actually untalented since she can only create/portray characters that are basically her.