I felt like an ass when I was irritated that we were getting quotes, not pix + quotes. Then I realized I am a 45 yo woman and died a little.

I wonder if she got the idea from that domestic violence commercial where the woman calls 911 and pretends to order a pizza.

Hey, This is Mark from the video. Tammy is very shy and I am well, crazy! She sat down because she was overwhelmed. She knew I was proposing soon but didn’t know it was at the parade. love it or hate it that’s ok. I did this to show the world I love her. Never thought it would go this crazy and have total strangers,…

These people were presumably teenagers at one point, yes? High schoolers have been doing this shit forever. We had bitchin’ parties, got wasted, and had a great time.

The ironic thing is Panda Express is still better than most “Chinese food” you can find in the Rust Belt or Midwest.

Raise your hand if your middle name is Marie. *raises hand*

This is just training the little girl for when she can be shamed for her food choices as an adult.

Naeem Khan does some sleeves on his other designs. They’re exquisite.

Poor actors? Competition? Ballet? Bitching about your lack of turnout in first position? Say no more, I’m def in. This will be my life now. No sarcasm.

Ours was a unicorn wearing a veil and a t-rex wearing a top hat. The t-rex was then stomping on a tradition plastic little bride and groom thing from the dollar store. I made the whole thing myself. I think I paid maybe, tops, $25 for all the bits and pieces to put it together?

WHY WHY WHY CAN’T MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATIONS MANAGE TO COVER THIS SHIT PROPERLY???

BEFORE MEMORIAL DAY??

I love that Jay wore the same white suit he just wore to Solange’s wedding because ain’t nobody need more than one white suit. Almost-billionaire celebrities: they’re just like us!

Oh my god, the fucking 800. The one year I ran track I had to run this goddamn event. I asked my coach for strategy tips. He said “run the first lap as fast as you can, and hope you finish.” Asshole.

Likeable Law Lady Loretta Lynch Lassos Lazy Lawmen.

And yet this lives on, unmolested by the “babe”.

While I’m not going to stand on the barricade and fight for the noble artificial colorant, I really wish companies would stop empowering her by bending to her baseless demands.

Nothing says ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ like sheer butt panels

I’m either hideous or oblivious, because I have no idea.

Same. What is it about hotel rooms? I have no idea.