What is it with the tongue in every pic? WHY?

"We believe it's our mission to save lives."

Also, if she truly believed in traditional marriage, she wouldn't be running for office. In traditional marriage, the woman is a doormat/indentured servant who defers to her husband, no?

I think "condensed steam" is what you're looking for, Barry.

on the flip side, if they did keep the initial DPI we'd all be claiming the Panthers got jobbed because Brady's pass was so shitty to begin with.

So internet hatred means you are very successful. I guess black, Mexican, and gay people in this country are very successful.

1. Julius Hodge was an asshole.

He's the banality of evil made flesh.

It's called "knurd."* It means you need a drink or two just to get to normal.

Wait, so is it a myth that they'll execute you or is it a myth that they won't?? My head hurts!

Great now implement a 24-second "pitch clock," and I'm back to watching baseball on TV.

Man, you would not have BELIEVED the chariot traffic. Crassus wanted us to take the Via Nova to the Colosseum but I thought it would be a good idea to avoid the main street, swing north take the alleys back of the Templum Sacrae Urbis and get to the Colosseum that way. Gracchus thought my idea was shit and boy was…

the league office will have the games on? this will triple the Astros' tv ratings!

There absolutely needs to be a penalty for an unsuccessful challenge, much like a timeout in football. Whether is an out or a strike or something, there needs to be some disincentive or else shithead managers are going to challenge everything at the end of games when they're losing or salty about a previous call.

OK internet commenter.

Doctors hate this one weird trick to prevent HPV, invented by a local mom.

"baseball fans will be discussing the voters, who are mainly sour, nasty old men who take the vote as a way to demonstrate their continuing relevance."

That is so cute! One year after my daughter and I read Frosty the Snowman, she wanted to make a snowman and wondered if it would come to life like Frosty. We didn't have a top hat or coal eyes, but she made do with buttons, bottle caps, and an old, bedazzled winter cap. So for several nights until it melted, I…

So is rooting for Duke.

I like to think of it as parallel parking a horse.