You should also seriously consider that you are either an alcoholic or becoming close to being one. If you can’t do your job in a sober, responsible way, then you are headed for trouble.

Pro tip: Don’t drink if you have to go to work next morning.

Wow, thanks so much for this, Leslie. This will really help me on those tough mornings at my job.

I REALLY WAS!

Oh Notre Dame....Oh Notre Dame...

Geez, I hope you’re still allowed to discuss burgers Joey.

5 Guys makes a good cheeseburger.

doxing self; whatevs

CUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE

Tender Man, obvs.

it me

I’m sorry but this is fucking hilarious. It would make my day if I saw someone doing that.
I hope no kids or animals get sick, though.

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS SELF INDULGENT EDM SHIT

dude you’re like, 12 years old or something, how do you think i feel

Good thing you’re here .... to reMIIIIIND them...

Context. It’s called context. That’s what you’re missing.

You know how I know it’s marketed to men? A woman’s costume on that sight would never have that much fabric.

When I was a kid my mom and aunt took me for dinner at a very posh and famous restaurant. My mother sent me to the bar for matches (ah the 80’s) and as I was running to get them I ran right into an ice bucket containing an absurdly expensive bottle of champagne of course. I started sobbing, but the restaurant manager…

Bi’s are simply confused and don’t want to commit.

Fallout Shelter is ridiculously more entertaining to me than Fallout 3 was even in its freshest state.