this is all i have

I ship them so hard.

Shanks but no shanks

But you only sneak in two - MAYBE three - that way. She wants to bring like a bazillion dildos in. As we all do.

IS IT ME

Oh no, where will I keep my extensive collection of dildos that I bring to the movie? Is a good old-fashioned pervert supposed to just stay home and watch Neftlix now? Our society is letting all joy fall to the wayside.

Yeah Okay.

That seems like an appropriate charge. Now, let’s just hope that they put her in the appropriate (i.e. women’s) facility, if jail ends up being where she goes.

REAL TALK: andsmokeit sent this to me earlier this morning and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

I’m really glad this video came out. A real problem that Hillary Clinton’s campaign has had is that she hasn’t really done any public events, which allows her to escape the scrutiny of actual activists from all walks of life-including the BLM folks. She’s insulated herself against any possible confrontations, while…

larry wilmore’s piece on this was amazing

nah that only works if you’re from Chicago

vote for Deez Nuts

okay but this is legit fucking hilarious and now I’m going to put something in my obit like,

Claire Foy (who also played Anne Boleyn

This is the first thing I see when I open the internet today. Who knew a 15 year old from Iowa could give me such joy on my birthday? I feel like Jared Fogle.

Weddings are dumb though. I mean, I’m married but I think it’s dumb. None of it is necessary and all of it is made up by people wanting to sell you things.

September 9th at 8PM - here’s the clip

I’ll donate the Adidas and Kool-Aid, but only for her and her husband. Then I’ll deploy a rescue team for the kids.

It’s not even the orange hair, it’s the expression on his face that makes him look like a hobgoblin or a kelpie.