*whispers* dementia

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.

DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM.

But without Left Eye.

The chances of this being the case are actually relatively high, given that Washington D.C. has the highest rate of membership of any city (and correspondingly, the hack released over 15,000 .gov or .mil email addresses).

Well, how is he supposed to know if he did anything wrong if someone doesn’t beat the shit out of him first?

If something out of the ordinary happened to Williams’ balls, it makes sense for Rex Ryan to be as ambiguous as possible. No reason to lose Karlos for four games.

Yeah, I know as a kid I didn’t care about getting a participation trophy. I wanted to win and if I/we didn’t, I was mad. The trophy is pretty meaningless, I wanted to win so I could tell my other buddy who was on the other team I was better than him or our team was better than his.

Gotta be honest, I was a competitive little shit growing up. Still am but I’ve learned to keep it internally driven. My brother however, was not coordinated nor competitive at all and was discouraged from doing things he liked to do.

Awfully tender writing for a guy who can’t describe how to make hummus without using the word “Fuck” a dozen times. Nice job.

good article but you might want to replace that picture. it kind of looks like a dick and balls

Very disappointed in you, Burneko. I mean, subtle plagiarism is one thing, but lifting your title straight from the Ford Field home locker room walls?

Bahaha. You need more stars.

Damn it women, stop tempting me with your flirtatious memoranda on HB 1432: A Bill to Reclassify Fish-Waste Processing Facilities as Nonpolluting Entities!

walleyed tomato

Lady does job while pregnant, news at 11.

that’s what you get for clicking on those “extreme proposals” videos for all these years

Surely that’s a parody video.

That looks suspiciously like a mono-tasker.

That looks suspiciously like a mono-tasker.

I...I kind of actually like this for real? I am shocked at myself.