Take pity. The scroll was done by a new employee. He hasn’t yet had his orientation.

Fox Exec: I’m not sure we’re using the right slant.

Heh. “Lambert’s.”

Being guilted into other people’s extravagant/time-intensive birthday celebrations. If it’s not something I’d do anyway and it’s going to take more than a few hours out of my life, I’m not going. And you don’t get to say, “But it’s my birthdaaaaay” when I politely decline.

No, I don’t want to chip in/go on your rented…

I really honestly just don't have time! All the things I need to do at night for the next few weeks I have to be sober for.

I’m boring too, Carly. I hardly ever drink. I did it when I was in college because everyone did it and it was a thing but the older I get the less I care for being drunk an god forbid being hungover. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

So is cold pizza. It is the only frat bro/sororostitute thing I never grew out of and hope I never do.

• Certain All hangovers. There, I fixed it for you. You are welcome.

I’m 34 and over booze. Why is it such a THING? I have a drink every now and then because some drinks are tasty. I hate how much is centered around and focused on heavy ddrinking.

Nah I know. But there are a lot and I’m feeling cranky about it :)

No.

Too old to read these comments about how everyone is “too old” in their early fucking twenties.

My friends who have young kids who still are obsessed with getting drunk. Because for some reason their drunken misadventures in their 20s was the highlight of their life and they want to get back to that. I mean can’t we just have a nice dinner with nice conversation without needing to go to a bar and getting wasted?

Mine is unchilled alcohol. Room temperature vodka? Go fuck yourself.

Crashing in a hotel room with multiple people I barely know to save money.

And pizza.

I would like to offer my sympathy for your struggle, but also tell you that as a 30-something, I rarely bother with alcohol. I’m too old to deal with hangovers, and I’m not a very fun drunk person because I usually just fall asleep. I probably drink once every two months, maybe.

Sleeping on friends’ couches. An air mattress or pull-out couch is cool, but if all you can offer me is your soft, lumpy couch, I’ll get a hotel room.

To be fair I think any age is too old to be fucking everything.

alcohol.