No amount of lotion or preparation h will sooth that butthole

Yes. Herein lies the problem. You have standards; bully for you! They seem sort of silly to me, but ok.

But not the kind you're thinking.

"Today it is playing League of Legends. To reiterate: we are confused. 'Things' are happening on the screen, people are cheering in response but we have no way to parse precisely what they're cheering at and why."

Most definitely. I don't think I would like watching myself much. Thankfully my experience is mostly all just musical. I imagine it'd be similar but probably a lot weirder psychologically if I had to take my appearance and mannerisms into account also.

Right? After they're born, they're on their own! They need to pick themselves up by their bootie-straps and earn the money they need for their own healthcare and food and stop mooching off hard-working Americans.

A brief preview of President Obama's near future...on repeat.

Comparing it to torture? But they don't have any problems with torture.

Now I see what the problem is with Deadspin and Gawker in general. It has a bunch of 20 somethings writing articles that think they know everything . Well I was born 11 years before and Scott wasn't the first black person on ESPN. I dodn't have an issoe with him but I can certainly see how his style could rub some…

I heard that his son lightly poked him in the chest and Big Kev took a huge dive.

However, DNA testing on a toothpick left at the scene is incomplete.

Poor Kevin Nash, not even his own son will put him over.

Moral of the story: A bird in hand is better than a blue bush.

That was me, and spoiler alert: Nope.

I'm loving Sam Woolley's art here, but nothing will ever compare to his magnum opus. This should be in a museum:

So let me get this straight. These people don't believe in evolution because it doesn't work like it does on the Pokemon cartoon?

Yeah - those 60's brakes weren't really designed well, next time don't step in front of a moving vehicle...