And don’t forget!

In the bottle of Tabasco sauce, where they belong.

1) Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist; not an accused rapist.

I hope she gets sober, I hope her children get the help they need, and I really hope she gets away with all of Markham's money and that Raylan doesn't shoot her.

Slave #1: I’M SPARTACUS

“I don’t respect him,” said Rowe, a 56-year-old who serves on the Caroline County board of education.

IS THAT YOU, TOLBERT?

C.A. Pinkham,

As soon as I read 1 and 2, I had a pretty good feeling you were talking about Camden Yards. I'm not going to make a scene or give anyone else shit around me for participating in the wave, but those drunk morons who refuse to give up the ghost when their wave doesn't catch on or keep trying to start it up during…

Only 0.1% better than normal.

Truth. I appropriated last year’s Father’s Day giveaway (Orioles fedora) because it was awesome and my dad doesn’t do hats. No home game on Father’s Day this year though...to the Aberdeen single-A game (and third base crab deck) it is!

is it in my prerogative to get up, run over to the table, buzz the buzzer, and tell them to come back and look?

Well... I think there is one, and only one, way in which that sentence could be true, albeit extremely poorly phrased.

I think the Pickle-Tip guy was a malfunctioning outer space robot from Mars. See, he heard, "Don't take any wooden nickles," and then glitched it into "don't take any wooden pickles," and then misinterpreted that to mean "The earth-humans demand gifts of pickles plaaced upon the wooden table. I have pleases Emperor…

Insolent Internet Ingrate Insults Insider

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

Calipari really relies on his athleticism and doesn’t play a team game. On the other hand, Bo Ryan’s savvy fundamentals and gritty determination show he knows how to play the game right way.

This joke is based on the false premise that Kentucky enforces educational standards.