Ok, seriously...

Eggs: French vanilla ice cream

Which would be why I drink tea.

You’re just jelly.

If we’re gonna have a fight, let’s see your war faces!

Speaking of...well, a whole bunch of people that would have been a better choice than Richards.

I assume you also included a bunch of individually-wrapped sausages that you bundled with your alarm clock since they were meant to be eaten at breakfast?

i refill the hugest CO2 bottles with dry ice so its super cheap to use.

Tall and leaves are smooth, away you should move.

This is way better than the Butter Emails cam from a few years back.

Do not, I repeat, do not go into your garden and eat some worms.

Where else would you put your lettuce?

They invariably manage to place my mom’s nachos order in the bag upside-down no matter which location or time of day we go, so it honestly wouldn’t be that big of a change.

Treat her with tenderness and respect so she doesn’t regret following you out of the bar.

For the full Americana effect shouldn’t they have shipped this to you packaged in a ‘63 Impala?

Found the CEO of Nabisco’s burner.

Man, Vulcan is going to be pissed...

This is basically what I do (at the superior California Tortilla). I’ll get a burrito bowl, then use either corn tortillas for tacos or flour for burritos for multiple meals.