djalicat
djalicat
djalicat

Trump voters:

Yeah. This year we're giving her Luther, because she has enough of a crush on Idris Elba she's seen both of the Thor movies (which only makes sense in the context of no one will go see them with her, so she's got none of my sibs' kids as an excuse to see a superhero movie she's not actually interested in.)

My siblings and I all got together last year and each gave her a season of Breaking Bad. She had no idea what it was, but now every time we’re all together for something at her house, she puts on the season she’s just finished and declares it the best gift we’ve ever given her.

No The Third Man? Are you kidding me?

IT”S LUPUS!

Yes, but George, when you ruin your children, sometimes the state has to take them away from you for their own welfare.

Seems like this tour’s been going on since 1989.

Well, since About .4 percent of people have a doctor-diagnosed wheat allergy, Id say catering to that number would be a bad business practice. The gluten free crowd make me nauseous, and if you really are a .4 percenter, you’ll have to be aware that the dine out world isn’t tailored to your special needs.

Actual conversation I had with a cuntstomer one day:

Actual conversation I overheard:

Recently I was in a store and a little boy was blocking an aisle. His mother told him to move out of the way because he wasn’t the only person in the world. Mother of the Year!