You’ve been thinking about this a while, haven’t you?

Alright, I’m going to try not to fly off the handle here, but regarding your thoughts that pooping out your dick wouldn’t be such a bad thing.....

“Yes, America is the greatest country in the world overall.”

The suspect was apprehended after he tried to pawn 9 Jerky Boy CDs.

Jeff Fisher is not fucking going 7-9. He said so himself.

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

I was really hoping they would go “Nothing really matters anyway! Drink Diet Coke!”

Today, you became American

Post-Viking Collapse Magary and Patriot-Hatred Fueled Magary always make the best articles.

Do you really think you’re a part of the Pats?

I’m from Sweden so the only thing I know about american football is that I fucking can’t stand Tom Brady

Funny that the Pats lost because Belichick literally gave Malcolm Butler the day off.

Same person?

The Patriots losing the Super Bowl is like heroin. I don’t need it all the time but it sure makes spending an afternoon with my family more enjoyable.

Marky Mark? Go the fuck away.

“Damn it, Philly we better than this.”

Where have I seen that before?

But when you win, and Death changes the rules to 2-outa-3, you’ll wish you had just gone quietly in the first place.