[Trigger warning for people that are sensitive to weight talk]

I will go on and on to whoever will listen about how the time change makes me feel like going to sleep at 6:30.

Kids these days have borne the brunt of No Child Left Behind. I tutor kids for the SAT, and they are mostly interested in what the right answer is. I do my best not to ever feed them the answers because they shut down on learning once they know. "Oh, it's D. NEXT!"

Katniss Everdeen had already killed her first five teenagers by that age!

Thank goodness the meat we eat every day grows on trees, and is not the result of "murdering" animals.

Too many people have to [put down their pets] watch their family members die because they cannot afford to pay the medical whatever. If you cannot afford to have a [pet] human relative, you shouldn't have one. . . . If you can't afford the medical bills, which could be up to thousands if not tens of thousands, you…

I explained this show to a friend by saying, this is what Girls aspires to be. It seems so much more honest to my generation.

The text at the beginning says, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful farming village. It was full of cute, smart little animals. One day, after laying an egg, the big hen began to cry out 'Who stole my Chuami damnit!' But, the small animals ______ (I'm not sure about this next part because I don't recognize the…

The fact that you can fall for somebody else while you're in a relationship means that that relationship wasn't right.

That's fine if you want to jump from relationship to relationship for the rest of your life. Eventually though, all these relationships will end up at the "fine, comfortable, and working" stage because contrary to what you've said, no one fits together perfectly. Most people learn to live with that, sit with their…

"Help others cheat?" What does that entail? Like, arrange clandestine meetings? That definitely doesn't sound like what the OP was doing.

I actually love this story.

Mine was brutal. I spoke about it at London's version of The Moth. It was the only kind of catharsis I could afford ->

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

I just fucking hated this series. And I've never liked monkeys.

"THIS is why us rubes don't mind our flyover states as much as you'd imagine..."

yeah, but then again, a naked guy? He might be gay, and that's sorta almost as dangerous as black, or something?

i don't think i ever said anything funny coming up from anesthesia. i mostly just cry.

When I got my wisdom teeth out, I had a very primal need to tell my mom that I felt weird. The gauze and cotton in my mouth was making it impossible to speak, so with great effort (because mostly, anesthesia made me sleepy), I spelled out "I feel weird" in sign language. My mom said, "You feel weird?" and I remember…