Of course you are, this is Deadspin.

-Why is he crying?

Fuck everything Cleveland. That is all.

Patrick, you’re my favorite Deadspin writer. But headline fail when you also write:

I pity whoever wakes up next to James Harden, because there is not an inch of that bed that he didn’t shit all over.

If they end the season in sole possession of the third-worst record, they’ll have a 56 percent chance of landing in the top three in the lottery. If they end in sole possession of the second-worst record, they’ll have a 47 percent chance. 

I enjoy a meal, not a snack...

Number 6. NBA Point Dispenser. Ever.

Well, this was a bit predictable.

Eyes in the back of his head? Well, he’s got the clearance there for a set...

Actually, he’s a Spur.

You guys got owned by Ted Cruz

You can hate Trump’s guts and still be hopeful that he doesn’t fuck everything up. Having hope about something you have no control over isn’t idiotic.

No I understand that. What I gained from this article is that she is an idiot for supporting her president and was attacked presumably because everyone just assumes that if you’re republican, you’re an immigrant hating, white power spewing, jesus freak. She’s just saying that she can hope for the best, without…

Sounds like she is just hoping for the best. Even her declaration that she would stand behind Trump comes with hesitation and acknowledgement that she does not share the same beliefs and will not force herself to. She even makes a point to say that she’s bunched into that negative stigma of what a Republican is,…

Say it with me - the stock market is not the economy.

To be fair, I think that the “Economic Disaster” that Trump was referencing had little to do with corporate returns and the increased value of capital, but rather the declining value of labor in the market and the out-of-control growth of income inequality and employment insecurity. Not that Trump would use those…

The recent rally in the markets is optimism for spending under the new administration. The 10+% surge in the last 2 months has nothing to do with Obama. Markets were going down leading into the election as Clinton’s lead looked clear. I get it’s not 100%+ in the S&P but c’mon.

But then at least they’d be equal. Of course, some would still be more equal than others.

Hamilton wouldn’t be happy until every single person is poor.