He eats it raw. Battered, but not fried. /s

Getdafuckoutahere with this fancy shit, give me Beluga on wieners and Pringles.

I hate the patriots and cowboys completely and forever. By extension, I hate Sam Adams beer, Tony Romo as a commentator, Click and Clack, and both cities.  I view this as completely rational and will not seek the help my wife says I need. 

Re: kids pouring drinks: you should take submissions about how kids make their parents irrationally uncomfortable. Like when my son clearly has to pee but spends five agonizing minutes bouncing around on all fours, kicking like a wild horse being broken. Or how my daughter has to balance everything on her plate before…

He makes Chris Christie “clean the Jersey turnpike” for him.

So you’d install a bidet for the guy?

Will this affect his ability to chant? I’m a big fan of his chants.

A sushi chef can and will tell you when you have had enough.  It is a lot..

A. Neat, I learned something today.

The white are pineapple, a lot of people don’t know that. When I go to the dentist, they say, do you eat candy and not brush enough?  And I say yes, that’s why I’m here. Now get back to work, I’ve got a bag of swedish fish in the car and its getting hot. 

its usually foam that is produced while chugging, that then turns back into liquid as it has time to settle in the near-empty can.

drink one 12-ounce beer (can or bottle) with at least a 5 percent A.B.V. Then do one lap around a track. Repeat four times.

Use your voice to make phone calls:

A three+ minute Flo/progressive commercial? No effing chance I’ll watch that. The 30 second ones on TV make me want to chuck the remote at the screen. The character, the actress, and the ad wizards who came up with it can all rot in hell.

Man, I get why Drew asked the question on twitter now.

I am still afraid the Caps may lose game 4 and it’s been over for 20 minutes.

I for one was way tenser than I probably should’ve been when the score was 4-2.

Never trust a grown man who wears bright orange Crocs.