Push present. I hate, hate, hate it. The name and the thing.

This is such a dad joke and I love it so much.

Drunken confession ( which sums up my entire Jezebel commenting career), I, as I assume most men, have measured their penis, and I am a shade under six inches. I guess this is ok? Or does it matter? Probably amplified that I can touch my nose with my tongue. That's gotten me a lot of places, friends.

I think the most shrinkage is between his ears.

Facebook is filled with friends you know and don’t like

• “The internet is a toilet,” says Lady Gaga. Don’t you hate it when people insult your friends???? [People]

Around the time of “Coven,” there was a comment thread on Jez or Morning After about hopes for the next setting for AHS. I’d thrown out an idea for World’s Fair-era Chicago, complete with H.H. Holmes, Sinclair-esque meatpacking and slaughterhouses, immigrants, labor issues, and Communism. Kinda sad they didn’t go…

I know trolls are gone be trolling the Double Creature feature, but this one just doesn’t do it for me.

I just watched it again recently and was reminded just how good it is.

Johnny Depp's most Oscar worthy role was in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and he didn't even get nominated for it.

Same thing happened with me. Christ, I hate intrusive thoughts.

Tracy. WTF.

Can I please suggest instead that people wait until they’re grownups to have children? This is ridiculous. Of course you’re an ashen blob after childbirth. Everybody is an ashen blob after childbirth unless they’re 24 and Scandinavian. Then they’re just ashen. Just fucking go have a cup of coffee with other…

Lou Pearlman, right? I can’t be the only one who instantly thought of Lou Pearlman?

I went through Holly Madison, Gwen Stefani, and “someone I don’t recognize” before I got to reading Rita Ora’s name.

WHO IS SHE

But, throbbing, quivering member is like a staple on Literotica.

That’s the kind of dedication I’ve come to expect from Lucille 2.

I think maybe she just doesn't enjoy pregnancy - it's common enough. You don't need to be mean !

I’m 100000% sure I would hate being pregnant, too. But she doesn’t make it easy on herself either. Like, Kim, no, you aren’t going to be able to wear your Valentinos comfortably with swollen ankles.

I am so glad my parents didn’t censor what I read; though interestingly, my mom was very upset that I was into Buffy in seventh grade. Which of course made me full on more obsessed, and I would go on family vacations with binders of Buffy fan fic. Ahhhh the late nineties.

Yeah, I read BSC too, but was all about the SVH. I still remember Regina dying from doing like, one line of coke, and I will tell you that was burned into my brain. The only reason I ever tried coke was because I was literally being peer pressured by a friend from high school and two other people when she took me out…