Eh. A choosy mom would name her baby Jif.

Sounds like something a person with no giant pictures of themself would say.

"The proposed GOP abortion ban would outlaw all abortions that occur beyond the 20 week mark unless the pregnancy was caused by a rape".

He's actually German Shepard. Which makes all this pretty impressive really.

I don't know why, but I read all of his messages in Tommy Wiseau's voice. That was the only way I could really get through the creepiness, I guess.

As many of you know, I have been searching for a media story to throw myself behind as a Truther. All the good Truther theories have already been taken (9/11 truthers, Obama birth, Stevie Wonder isn't really blind, Cats aren't really stealing dog beds, etc). It's been a long process, filled with extensive research and…

The subtext is obviously that poor people don't deserve anything other than the bare-ass minimum needed to stay alive. If they want something nice or tasty or fun to make their lives a bit more pleasant, then they need to grab their bootstraps and earn that right. Until then, fuck 'em.

Cantaloupe is one of those fruits where 96% of them are horribly unripe but when you finally have a good one, its transcendent. Like a Harry & David pear.

The real question is the reverse - why the fuck shouldn't regular poor people get to eat fast food sometimes? Shit, 17-year-old me couldn't have made a retail paycheck last two weeks without hitting up the dollar menu periodically, and I was living at home at the time.

He was ordered to avoid contact with the victim, so you know what that means: he's single again! Ladies?

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

Well, it's only Amish sharks that never get cancer.

Why don't they just put women in the cargohold with the rest of the property and be done with it?

Think of the Children.

Menstruating is for closers.

Happy princess Obama is waaay better than Malibu beach Obama

Pretty sure they're genuine Cookie Monster pelts.

Or you could have actually read the article and the mentioning of many religions and their belief in the virgin birth. But I suppose reading is really hard. Especially when you have some fake War on Christmas nonsense to go on about listening to Fox News.

You people never stop struggling to find some phantom oppression with which to pretend-torture yourselves, do you?

So you're mad that Jezebel doesn't buy the whole "virgin birth" thing and instead releases interesting, informative, and well researched pieces about how the myth of the virgin birth is related to how we think of women, is part of a long tradition, has to do with how we repress women in general, and how it effects…