B-69

So, I followed you here on gawker media. What does that do? Am I somehow alerted when you post? Are we BFF's now? What happens?

I never let the facts get in the way of a joke.

Why did I find this so funny?

My wife laughs if someone hits their head on something. It used to piss me off, but she simply cannot help it. I have been in an attic where I bashed my head against a rafter so hard it bled and I could see her, her back to me, with her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

Maybe he was applying the "Don't wear the T-shirt of the band you're seeing" rule to his sports team. You ever think of that, hater?

That viral video is brilliant. Plus, it doesn't hurt that she picked a perfect (if very derivative) pop song. I can't imagine that it'll be too long before I'm tired of hearing her.

That red looks like my favorite guitar color: Fender's Fiesta Red.

Okay, after the abortion post, the San Diego mayor and this, my outrage has reached critical mass.

God damn. Texas, Ohio, NC, Wisconsin. How underhanded and sneaky is it to hide something this important in a fucking motorcycle safety bill? It seems like that would be illegal.

Oh. He calls it a Bull Gator Tater.

My redneck cousin makes a drink with Vodka (flavored or unflavored), Red Bull, and Gatorade. He makes them strong and he makes them big and they fuck you up. He says that the Red Bull keeps you alert and the Gatorade eliminates the hangover. Up to a point, that may be true. After three 32 ounce drinks, nothing helps.

Siobhan Blowjob: 33 points

Jesus. He'll be eligible for parole in 660 years. Where's the justice in that?

But this is Ohio, who just snuck in the same law Texas did. So if she was past 20 weeks, it would be murder.

That's fine and dandy, but my toddlers were more delicious than chicken.

Since I have read almost all of the Jack Reacher books and Jack Reacher was a military cop, I'm kind of an expert on situations like these. The men were arrested but never formally charged and will be held against their will for up to a week while Reacher investigates and kills everyone. He'll also sleep with the…

I think that whole meth teeth thing is bullshit. I've been drinking Diet Dr. Pepper for 20 years and my teeth are fine. Both of them.

When I worked there, a co-worker of mine accidentally entered the graveyard scene from outside. He said the door closed behind him and he couldn't find the handle and people were staring at him so he started pounding on the wall and we let him out.

This post made me horny.