dickmove
dickmove
dickmove
Aug 20 2013
Save

And it wasn't just spit it was SALIVA spit. Spit made from SALIVA!!! It was not a loogey. It was SALIVA spit. Read more

Aug 20 2013
4

I had the opportunity to meet him at a Bouchercon some 20 years ago. I was just a lowly bookseller, but he was very gracious and charming. Take a lesson from that, Sue Grafton.

Aug 20 2013
2

You seem surprised. It's more like "Donald Trump wrote that." With a period.

Aug 20 2013
Save

Where is this that they put RAMPS in front of big gaps in the freeway? Are you encouraged to try and jump them? WTF? Read more

Aug 19 2013
Save

You should have called this "How to Set Fire to Your Sticky, Slimy Kitchen".

Aug 16 2013
8

Why is Janelle Monae always having more fun than I have ever had?

Aug 16 2013
2

Uh, we should talk...you're not as "fresh" as you could be.

Aug 16 2013
10

My home would be REALLY cozy because my bus was considerably shorter than that one.

Aug 16 2013
2

Wasn't there a high school in PA a while back that was spying on kids and their families through the webcam on the school-provided laptops? Read more

Aug 16 2013
7

I must be the most creative motherfucker to ever live.

Aug 16 2013
Save

I was kinda going with the silicone pirates. Manly men after big fake boobs.

Aug 16 2013
Save

Well, based on the last soda article, I imagine killing a hobo with a hammer is some good cardio.

Aug 16 2013
3

This makes me embarrassed to be a man. Jesus, Thor, just shut the fuck up. And that sweater? No.

Aug 16 2013
Save

Because that scene would have sucked if the guy with the cleaver had turned around and said, "Hi. How are you? As you can see, we're cannibals."

Aug 15 2013
6

When I was a kid, I was in 4-H and we showed sheep. We had a Ram. I can't remember the breed but it was smallish and hornless. One day, when we were loading up the ewes for a fair, my mom leaned over to pick something up and that ram got a good running start and butted her right in the ass and sent her sprawling. It Read more

Aug 15 2013
Save

I don't like this new format because the author pictures are too small and I can't mast...uh, look at the person whose article I'm writing about.