I also went out Friday night and was dehydrated as fuck on Saturday. Hangovers. Amirite?

He'll follow that up with "We Shall Over Cum" about tantric sex.

This is no problem in Texas.

I remember when they tore it down and found a real body in there plasticized like a dummy. Creepy.

Goodwood, indeed.

That looks like the lady who used to stand at the front of The Pike's Laff in the Dark.

I got a cavity watching that.

What happens when their next movie comes out? Where will that fit?

KTVU is to blame here. The joke names were juvenile and easy to spot. The fact that somebody typed them onto a graphic, typed them into a teleprompter and then a woman read them is inconceivable (this word means exactly what I think it means). The whole goddamned staff should be fired for being stupid.

My sister had that doll. She used to wake me up with it. She's not waking up anyone anymore, is she Baby Laugh-A-Lot? No, she's not. You're so pretty.

That was one of the best test drives I've ever had. I felt like I'd just gotten off a rollercoaster when I was done. I was very impressed.

I came here to see if anyone had gif'd the crazy back and forth eye part. I am disappointed.

Oh. My God. That can't be real. Do you have proof? If it is, everybody at that station should get fired. Not for being racist, but for not seeing this for what it is.

I wouldn't be too upset about a list that included George Lopez and Larry the Cable Guy.

Girl, you so hot you on fire. I mean you're fired.

I drive a standard and when I'm in stop and go traffic for two hours in Chicago, I am vastly inferior to every driver of an automatic.

I was a lifeguard for three years and as long as a kid has his arms at his sides, he doesn't think he's running. Even if he's doing a 4.4 40 if his arms are down, it's not a run.

My wife simulated every single bite she fed to our children. Even after it was pointed out. She simply could not not do that.

Why'd you do that? Why?

I find that I am amazed at how funny people are on the internet as often as I am appalled by people on the internet.