If you really want a shitstorm, go to college football and negatively comment on an SEC article.

I think sucking "miles of cock" would make you a slut because this article says you have to give 3 blowjobs a day. And that's way over this dork's parameters.

1,100 bj's a year is 3 per day. That sounds like a protein diet to me.

That was totally fake.

To me, #YOLO is the current rendition of Ed Hardy T-Shirts. An identifier by which I can determine who is and who is not a douchebag. As a bonus, this one works with women, also.

I have a mechanic that I trust. I take every used car I'm serious about to him for a thorough check out. I usually give him $50 per car. That has been some of the best money I've ever spent in avoiding a dog (dealer said the timing belt was replaced and my mechanic showed me otherwise).

Harvard looked crappy back in the day.

There's plenty of outrage to be found in the world right now, you don't have to go making it up.

They should have just painted my mother in law, who is roughly the same size and shape as the Arbath.

What if that's my poop? I can get away with it, right? Because they want my dog's DNA. I don't even have a dog. Suckers.

I love pizza. And who doesn't? I want the rest of that story.

So I'm looking at the related stories below and he went from "the most entertaining person in college basketball" to "drunk" to "most annoying" in four stories. Is that a record?

How would one teabag?

Either buy an air-conditioner or buy a grill. You get a decent tabletop gas grill for $99.

Holy shit that made me angry the way they stopped her and took her away. Let's let Texas secede so we can attack them and take them over. Can we do that?

I always meet the hottest chicks at the ER.

I'm going to guess that the "toddler bought it" the exact same moment his wife found out.

Band-Aids are racist because, baby, that color don't match anyone's skin.

She's really gonna need to work on her smug to replace Carlson.