Rice and Peterson won't be running during those games either.

Gonna be a lot of people in Baltimore with Joe Flacco jerseys tomorrow.

If you wait until the age of 2 to discipline a child, you're going to love what you get when they turn 15.

He wisely left out the part about forcing her to attend 8 Lions home games a year.

Cuomo: My opponent is a Dolphins fan!

Hermann went on to say that "those slapping sounds you hear are us disciplining our fans."

Listen, last month you overhauled your entire comment system to prevent people from posting stomach-churning images of overweight whores shoveling a bunch of diarrhea into their mouths, and now you're doing it yourselves? Make up your mind!

Goodell is a mendacious tool who's undoubtedly going to to get canned or can himself in the near future. But Ray Rice is unlucky. I say that not to defend his conduct in any way; slugging your wife/girlfriend is categorically reprehensible and his indefinite suspension is well deserved. The fault in his stars (or…

John Daly is going into the nineteenth hole.

Also, it's good with the press.

Between his stint with the Falcons and now the Cardinals, I think it's clear his time in the NFL has left him bird-brained.

"We had an outpouring of women saying, 'Oh my god, I didn't realize this happened to other people.'"

You can tell he identifies really strongly with his team, because he also doesn't have a point.

Never thought I'd find a Wolverine who needed a timeout more than Chris Webber.

Fuck FanDuel and its commercials. And fuck "one guy who made $600,000 at FANDUEL!"

Why, imagine if he only looked at the score after the game ended? The fool might have been content with 25 points from Carson Palmer.

ALTHOUGH, Matthew Stafford knelt for a -1 yard loss to end his game as well. Symmetry.

Losing to a team named "#yoloswag" makes it infinitely more frustrating.

So now we know. Two yards.

It might be the closest Chris gets now to playing with a Jennings.