Much in the same way than an Oklahoma convict asked a judge to extend his sentence three years to match his favorite basketball player, Rob Gronkowski has requested his fine be increased by one dollar.

"Just copulated with the lightly hirsute Edelman. Earlier at the bacchanalia, he displayed his abdominal brawn to the hoi polloi. Quelle horreur! (of course I mean that ironically) "

Lawyer: [tugs at collar] [starts sweating] Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw Aaron Hernandez coming.

I can't imagine the trouble I'd be in if I got sued for something I wrote on Deadspin. I mean, how the fuck would I even find a lawyer?

Finally, my Alma Mater gets mentioned on this site for something OTHER than being a place Tim Allen attended.

Shocking and appalling. Western Michigan Football has message boards and boosters?

Or he's trying to get rid of his roommate.

"…and what type of lion did you say it was again?"

Maybe that one "Not Sure" guy rents.

Not very relevant to the article, but that is a bad ass Wheaties box cover. 10/10, would idolize while munching.

Ha! You said "two funbags."

Back when you were 6 years old and your dad/club pro/guy at the 19th hole told you that golf is like 99% mental, this is what they were talking about. I LOVE Tiger but his mental game is fried.

I blame the caddy. He obviously didn't give Tiger the yardage.

To be fair, everyone in the world rushes to judgment, except for Pete Carroll, who passes to judgment, and is usually intercepted.

But what would you do if they met in the Super Bowl.

True Story.

It is amazing how many commenters are able to fool themselves into thinking that all of these folks that were killed by police "had it coming". And those who points out that racism exists are the "real racists".

Which laws did Tamir Rice break? He played with a toy gun in an open-carry state.

Another really great piece, Greg. This managed to be funny, sad and rage-inducing all at once.

Pfft. Like I'm going to listen to a black guy for advice about how not to get shot by cops. Might as well take QB lessons from Mark Sanchez.