He's the yummiest! I wish the TV series hadn't fallen through but then again, it would be really hard to get it right on TV.

Also, the writing is fucking ON POINT:

AGAIN, let me recommend the Parasol Protectorate. The Protagonist's love interest?

Obviously everyone should be reading the Parasol Protectorate. I'm fucking fabulous in that.

Mark, you know we're only concerned about you. All those disturbing things you Google are affecting your daily life. Allen texted me that you've been whispering 'tie me up in knots, Finnick' and 'Rosebud' in your sleep. Also that you are eating a lot of pizza in the morning and not nearly enough veggies.

You and Mark should be getting kickbacks from the sex industry!

One (1) pillow. Please make sure this pillow is functional and not decorative because there is a difference and sometimes you get yelled at for getting pizza sauce on something that cost $19.99 and money doesn't just grow on trees, Mark, okay? People work all day to have nice things and you're going to need to take…

Can Robin Thicke Come Back From Being A DoucheBag?

That article about Josh Hutcherson that Mark Shrayber has not delivered on. GROSS NEGLIGENCE.

Sorry, Mark. I should have mentioned that after our uh, adjustments meeting.

They make chocolate covered potato chips. I imagine those would taste better than chocolate flavoured ones.

But will you do a video taste test like Lindy does? Because those are fucking hilarious.

I spend a lot of time in Utah. And I taste test first. There are some lovely seminary schools as well. But skip the nunneries. They taste like ashes and disappointment, for the most part.

I like using it in place of bathwater. It's so invigorating!

YES! I don't have a younger man harem but I'll make one just for him. And JLaw can come have slumber parties with us and we can all gossip and play ridiculous games.

Oh I know but there are people out there who are unaware! People who don't know who he is other than 'that kid from the Hunger Games. Not Thor's brother. The other one'. THIS MUST BE RECTIFIED.

He can't stop! He is literally too handsome for this gif.

It is! And his heart is growing three sizes!

I love her. And it's a really lovely gif, isn't it? Bless Joe & bless Magic Mike.

Because if I write it how will it end up on Jezebel for all the world to see? People need to know the beauty of JHutch!