Do you and Mark have an office bet on who can write the most insane stories in a week? Is it quantity or quality? Who is the judge?

Magic Mike is the gift that keeps on giving! So excited for Magic Mike 2.

Seriously? You really believe that Mark and I are ACTUALLY engaged and that I'm actually purchasing him a Slow Loris as a present?

This is lovely!

Oh dear god, if I'd nailed that, do you think I'd be on Jezebel? Oh no, I'd be kissing that jaw aaaaaall day and aaaaaaaall night.

OH NO YOU DIDN'T! You did not just slander the beautiful and talented Josh Hutcherson, My Mark. DON'T MAKE ME POSTPONE OUR NUPTIALS.

You are evil and FABULOUS.

Mark, my sweetness, I'm fairly positive that Jezebel has never run a thorough article on the magnificence of Josh Hutcherson's jaw.

Mark, baby, if I get you a Slow Loris as an engagement gift, will you start posting about the majesty of nature and Suri Cruise's Burn Book and Josh Hutcherson's magnificent jaw instead of this weird shit they've got you writing? Please, pookie?

Retta is a better woman than I.

THAT'S A TOTALLY VALID REACTION.

I'M NOT AFRAID OF HIS PUNK ASS!

As someone who jumps when she sees A FUCKING SHADOW or like a piece of lint move, this would make me a hysterical sobbing mess. AND THEN THE SNAKE WOULD EAT ME. #slytherinconspiracy #voldemortiseverywhere

Thank you, I shall!

Enjoy your Starbucks!

Thank you Josie. I understand that you are very busy and important with your workings and things.

OH JOSIE, I GIVE YOU ALL THE STARS FOR STARRING ME!

Ahem. I think it should be 'Do you even SCUBA dive?' in the grand tradition of 'Do you even bow hunt?'

And here is a star for you, Josie, my love!