Olympians! Queering us all! YOU CAN'T WIN, PUTIN. YOU CAN'T WIN!

I know! And we haven't even gotten to the hockey skaters yet!

We're fabulous!

I think I've only seen one interview from Sochi from Alexandre so far. And he was only 22 in Vancouver. 22! So well spoken in 2 languages!

All our athletes in general seem to be very close with their families, or at least the ones I've seen profiled by the CBC.

Yeah! We have sexy wildling sex, baby!

Yeah. It's like 'I'm sorry, could you be any more wonderful?' and you know, he probably adopts orphaned puppies and kittens or something as well. It's ridiculous.

KALIST PROPOGANDA!

We won a lot actually. Ice dance, men's & women's hockey, a few skiing and speed skating events. 26 gold medals total, I think?

Isn't it amazing?

I love that Kale broke up a relationship.

I love a good winter coat. And some winter toques really bring out your facial features: like I have some (funnily enough) older Team Canada toques that highlight my cheekbones.

Yeah. We were all disappointed. I don't think he got a date from anyone else from our program after that.

It was when he was putting his dick in her. He did the Cosby impression while entering. And then I think he did it again to warn her of his impending orgasm.

Yeah, the team's been awesome so far. I think Vancouver really helped add a lot of money to the sports.

Pretty sure we did win them. We'll be winning these too. Or coming second to Norway because fuck, does every baby get a pair of skis in Norway?

You caught us! We're not nice at all! We pretend to be nice and then we fuck everyone up at the Winter Olympics with our sexy thighs and gold medals. Yeah baby!

Yeah, I don't think it's on anything official in Canada. Each athlete has a different helmet and he probably thought it was cool. It's pretty much the only part of their outfit they can customize, I think. The Canadian who got silver had a big gold maple leaf on his, for example.

Oh good! I will look for it.

Yeah, I just found that picture, but he seems pretty randy.