Sounds like you want to read someone pretending it’s a better show than it is.

Sebastian Vettel could have easily avoided disappointing and ruining the race for F1 fans in Canada. However, he lost control of his car, all four wheels left the track, cuts a turn, re-entered the track at speed and then proceeded to turn out and block the car behind him. Unfortunately, when you commit multiple infrac…

I am sorry but I reject your reality and replace it with my own. See you Monday.

So... not bath salts? I was expecting bath salts.

Is this where we declare how thankful we are for The Takeout?

That’s what my parents said too and the reason I never got to go there as a kid and then it closed...

Because it’s a ridiculous stance to take, especially when she LOVES ham and we’re having 16 people for dinner. I honestly don’t know why she’s being like this about it. 

I host a giant kids and parents Halloween party every year: love it!
I host a big, adults-only cocktail party in the spring: love it!
I’ve hosted two Thanksgivings and a Christmas for my wife’s family: NEVER AGAIN! (I’m sorry that your parents are getting old and hoping someone will relieve them of the burden of hosting…

My dad and his wife are snowbirds in Sun City. I visited them last February, and they took me here for dinner . . . at 4 pm.

My top one lesson from trying to host Thanksgiving one year:

“Do not count calories, skimp on ingredients, or whine and pout about how bad the food is for you”

Fuck everyone involved in this story. Fucking morons.

Looks like somebody forgot to put the transmission in Bark.

for fans of martin & ian:

I’ll be wearing my Wang Computers shirt

I really hope white clam is here to stay.

That comes when you can’t locate the rest room afterward.

Pretty easy solution here, you just drink 30 of those beers so it fits in the car and then drive home.

Home-grown is the best!

Only when you threw the bucket away did you notice the hole in the bottom!