‘The name “Goetze’s” might not ring a bell’. Well, it does, but not something I’d want to chew on....

I know I need new glasses but my misreading of ‘The increasingly popular condiment leaves a red stain in our pantries’ truly alarmed me....

It’s the very high-end version of the sandwich grill, used twice then put in a cupboard and forgotten about.

The longest 88 minutes of my life....

Is “it” new guacamole?

This is why we can’t have nice things!

A terrific, always reliable actor, I was happy to see he had two Emmys for The Rockford Files. Yet another sad loss. R.I.P.

Walliams was doing a very good job sucking up /off Simon Cowell on Britain’s Got Talent, until that rather embarrassing tape leaked with his real, nasty opinions about some of the contestants.  Looks like he’s not in the next series.

Lucas for the last few years has been an increasingly unpleasant presence on TV. My eyes widened when he gave an interview earlier in the year and declared, completely seriously and with gravity, ‘I am a National Treasure’. Firstly, it isn’t your decision, and secondly you still wouldn’t be if everybody who has ever…

Your mix of A View To Down Under is superb....

Jeez.... I read that headline as ’Wonder Woman - 3 reportedly dead at James Gunn and Peter Safran’s DC Studios’, thinking that got out of hand pretty quickly.....

Maybe I’m being harsh, but if you take advice about your food and nutrition from the clown car of DNA sequencing mistakes parading on TikTok, you deserve everything you get, from projective vomiting and being able to shit through the eye of a needle from fifty meters, to the terrible dangers of cooking with serious,…

Chicken, bacon and artichoke? Damn... it’s ten to nine in the morning, I’ve just had breakfast yet I would very happily wolf down one of those.....

Well, they didn’t.... but they do now!

Also, if you use one for more than a few seconds at a time remember that the nozzle can stay surprisingly hot for a while. Discovered that by painful experience.

Kirk Cameron is already booking his flight to Miami...

Fascinating article, and ‘the Juicero Press, a countertop machine that looked like an iMac that pissed green froth’ gave me the best laugh of the day. 

‘The computerised juicer endorsed by a clown.....’

(Have some laxatives handy.) Just the thought of this abomination makes the laxatives redundant...

How do we know he’s not pooping into a bucket in the top photo?