This looks like what is really is - Hellraiser 11 (Eleven)

I was at a film festival where Weaveworld was announced to be in active pre-production by either Geffen Entertainment or Gladden Entertainment, can’t remember which, and which has to be in the early 90s. Then it was going to be a 1995 mini-series, then a 2001 mini-series, then a 2005 mini-series, then 2015.... Don’t…

Arrow released a version in 2019 with about twenty-three minutes restored. Barely an improvement. The Cronenberg scenes are still the best part of the film. 

Nor me, the first time I saw a computer keyboard I thought it was half an accordion.

Already working on my script, The Lorde From The Black Lagoon.

‘Exorcised just eighteen months ago’

You should have heard the demo for the one they didn’t use.

“My parents were nasty, evil, terrible people. (And left me loads and loads and loads of money and a army of slack-jawed brainwashed marks and suckers who still send me loads and loads of money). HOW DARE YOU expose who they really were”

‘Nosferatu with makeup’. How I will describe myself on my next dating profile.

Joe Lara, an actor for whom even the role of Tarzan was way out of his range. 

‘Mr. Jones, what is your previous employment history?’

I was in Italy a couple of weeks ago, Bologna, a great place for food, and was pleased to see that most of my favourite places were still open, apart from one cafe / bar on Via dell’Independenza which seemingly didn‘t survive lockdown. Everything seemed back to ‘normal’, with some great meals, the only very noticable…

Reading the headline I was expecting this to be a vile TikTok challenge or some similar nonsense...

But the McDonkey was a disaster on all fronts......

‘...breakfast leftovers....’ Sorry, does not compute. 

If Simply Eggless could get the rights to a particular Tina Turner song they could have a dynamite advertising campaign.

My friend’s three-year-old daughter always calls them ‘Shittles’. She might be onto something..... 

Take your star......

‘I’ll happily have the strip search and you can search around in my ass for hours if you want, I’m sure you’ll be able to find grounds to deport me.....’