You have two kittens called Scorpion and Sub-Zero? I tip my hat to you, Dennis. 

Those pods are interesting, as in ‘Oh look, those Effen cocktails...’

I pity the fool who buys a Mr. Tea. 

Dear god, Dennis! You could buy 29 Sushi Bazookas for the price of this, and still have a buck left over for some other crap.

So essentially a variation on this from 2o15.

Beautiful plumage....

Hey. mind your language! Those orange hoes were Mr. Trump’s children. Have some respect! Yes, there was a mix-up between Eric and the Deluxe Five-Speed Anal Devastator in the dildo shop, with the White House staff trying to get the three-foot plastic dong to wear a tie for the cameras, and a very embarrassing argument…

There was a huge branch of Sainsbury near me which was plagued for a few months by a flasher who would, shall we say, display the goods in the freezer aisle near closing time. They never caught him, despite being captured several times on CCTV. I always wondered, why the freezer aisle?

NEWSFLASH! Subway ‘tuna’ finally identified -

Unless you go *off menu*........

Haribo! The bears that make YOU shit in the woods!

A friend of mine discovered this to his hilarious cost with a very large bag of sugar-free mints. Well, we thought it was hilarious....

Are boy bears better value than the girl ones?

Twinky was uncomfortable enough back in 1969. God knows what’s it like these days, but we all have to start somewhere. He’s being paid some amazing tributes -

Great shame, a truly underrated filmmaker. Of his early stuff, Twinky (porn writer Charles Bronson falls for sixteen-year-old schoolgirl Susan Geroge) probably won’t be mentioned in many obits, and rightly so, but Superman is a remarkable achievement, The Omen still packs a punch and I have a soft spot for Ladyhawke.…

If during one of these debacles a contestant vomits, its called ‘a reversal’. I have no idea how I know that.

Brilliant idea Allison. I like gnocchi but find it slightly underwhelming, the friend who introduced me to it hyped it so much I was expecting the food of the Gods, and then some, but I’m definitely trying this

Your covering this with all jollity and celebration, but it has a tragic, heart-breaking side you don’t even mention!

‘ The most genuinely charming moment in the whole film is a scene where a postcoital Larry happily admits that he’s meant to be the cow, not the bull, in his romantic relationships, and then moos.’ Jesus P. Christ, I’d forgotten that scene, but by that time I was too shellshocked by this unspeakably terrible and…

I read that as ‘vertically’.....