The Biblical Meat Sweats will be the name of my next band. 

As did George C. Scott In Islands In The Stream, as a Hemingway manqué, backed up by a terrific performance from the underrated David Hemmings.

‘Dave Bautista has a big request: Let him play Ernest Hemingway’ - at Jenga!

‘Forget Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader’. I just wish I could. That day round Uncle John and Aunt Mimsy’s when I discovered what my previously beloved uncle read in the bathroom, then hid in the cistern, changed my life forever.

How are you on the music of dead German junkies?

P J Proby did it at least twice in 1965.

The Piña Cicada song? 

I’m just surprised that he talks about anything other than men having sex with dogs? Remember this is the man who stated, if he became President, that Americans couldn’t ‘... expect secrecy in the bedroom’. His utter obsession with what consenting people did in the privacy of their own homes, and how he wanted to…

Thank you for that admission, Colonel....

Surely ‘blue poo’ should be the term.

Combine the two!

‘The company will test your poop for all sorts of exciting things’ - Sentience, gold, songwriting ability, 20/20 vision, GSOH, gamma radiation, nut allergies, flat feet, leprosy, criminal record.....

Just goes to prove Lord Tennyson knew the square root of fuck all about human emotions. 

Not exactly, but once many years ago, when I was in a very bad place and very short of cash, I went into a McD’s around the corner from me near closing time. It was open till about 2am, and ordered, and paid for, a Quarter Pounder and fries, my main meal of the day. The young guy behind the counter returned with one…

So, free bar snacks included in every bottle!

‘The accompanying Red Velvet Loaf’ sounds like a horrible side-effect of the pistachio latte....

Many many years ago, my girlfriend shared a very nice apartment with another girl, and shall we say the roommate and I tolerated each other, but tried to play nice for our mutual acquaintance. Said roomie decided to redecorate and refurnish her bedroom, spending quite a bit on it, and when it was finished she invited…

Or Alex Cox’s own utterly fucking wretched Repo Chick (‘09).

One of Nic Cage’s funniest performances comes in the infamous Deadfall -

Nobody ‘loses’ 22 bundt cakes and a pan of homemade mac and cheese, this was deliberately dumped for some reason, which may become obvious if we get to see the cakes and M&C.