‘Why am I mentioning cocaine this early on a Monday morning?’ Because it’s Monday morning, freezing cold and p*ssing down....

Maybe it’s an ad for Kite Boy Rick, or The Dallas Flyers Club?

‘..... he figures it would be impossible for someone to poison an ENTIRE McDonalds to get to him without giving themselves away’. But unless he goes to the diner himself, picks it up from the counter and has it in his possession the entire time before cramming down his piehole there’s a long chain of suspects who…

Combine two current stories and slip it over the end of a Bob Evans Italian Sausage!

And ghost stories. 

But we’re far too refined and genteel to even imagine such a thing. Classy AF, us.

‘...somewhat inexplicably’ could be applied to virtually every scene and every character in this. I’m not expecting 100% airtight plotting in this sort of thing but come on.....

There is a scene where Kline’s character confronts his ex-wife, played by Susan Sarandon, oddly not mentioned in the article, which I thought perfectly presents the conflicting emotions of pain, hurt and anger when meeting an ex. A compelling scene. The rest is just bloody painful. The scene where he works out the…

Stop those Snickers. The closure of the shops Mars the High Street. Those kiosks in the shopping centres are just Mall Teasers.

The Lost Condiment. 

‘To the Diet Coke factory!’

You forgot to add the detail that the butler was carrying said sugar water on a silver platter. Words genuinely fail me....

Needs more gorilla.....

And you can bet the lawyers are billing him for the limo hire. Just one thing on top of another.....

Should have called it Mike Hunt. 

Must have been because of the budget cuts.

My schoolfriend’s mum, when he asked what was for dinner, was always told ‘This or that’. If he asked what ‘that’ was, was told ’this’. He eventually got the message.

So how do her dead mice smell now?

That and the bring-your-own-bucket loose milk counter.

Atlantis. The Discovery Channel promised me Atlantis. And sharks.