There’s one of those ‘Previously on Bust a Nut in Grandma’s Butt’ catch-ups at the beginning.

VD Attack Plan..... Not a great title. How about The Junkle Book? Or Throbbin’ Hood? Steam Bloat Willy? Or make a short featuring Screwed McDuck.

Anybody prefer a refreshing bottle of Pee?

So ‘6' is essentially ‘No playing Hide The Sausage’.

The number of times I’ve heard that.....

‘If you don’t know any Girl Scouts personally, you do not need to cry.’ Don’t think I want ‘Girl Scouts nearby’ on the ol’ browser history, thanks.

Windmilling happily.

Nic Cage as Lech Wałęsa? It’s the Pole of a lifetime!

He’s nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is.

Only One. One. Alone. Solo. Just The One.

Chicken On A Stick? Chicken-In-A-Cup? Chicken McFlurry (equivalent)? Chicken-O-Fish?

‘...reported one woman named Joanne who had received a microwave as a Christmas present from her husband’. Along with a new ironing board, a set of adjustable spanners, a box of cigars, a new pair of bowling shoes (size 11), a new Knicks leisure top (size XXL) and a year’s subscription to Oily Juggs Monthly.

Kit-Kat Bites are evil, evil things. They summon poltergeists. I base my accusation on the fact that the times I’ve bought them the bag has been empty in about twenty minutes and I certainly didn’t eat them all. Therefore - poltergeists. The same ones who eat all the cheese, macadamia nuts, passion fruit, Carr’s water…

This review is positively benign compared with this...

‘...something I do hastily right in front of the refrigerator, rolling up slices with some questionably old cheese’. Thank god, I’m not the only one.

Or Tarantula!

I went to a press show of Hudson Hawk on a Tuesday morning. After about an hour I had had enough and went to leave, only to find that it was absolutely pissing down outside and I didn’t have an umbrella or raincoat.

When Cop-Out came out on DVD in the UK it carried a sticker on the sleeve saying ‘For Die Hard Fans Only’. Liked that.

The weather forecast did say a cold front was moving in.

Jeez, a clothes horse hanging from the ceiling. Had one of those when I was a kid, which now seems some centuries ago....