‘... a free garbage disposal to 200 lucky New Yorkers in Queens, Brooklyn, and Manhattan for 21 months and tracked what happened, and the conclusion was that the appliance caused “no potential significant adverse impacts.”’ Mind you, the rate of disappearing babies in those neighbourhoods soared....

He’s not this knobend, is he?

‘When this pandemic is over, I’m going to stop making excuses and ....’ I really thought that sentence was going to end ‘...go into space’!

I hated mother! but I also admired it for its convictions, respected the talent involved, was impressed by most of the performances and have to admit that Aronofsky stuck with it as it really went off the end, and kudos to Paramount for essentially bankrolling a $40m arthouse pic.

How many times? Until you stop touching yourself late at night, that’s how many times!!

Very cauliflower-ry. In fact I would go so far to say if you don’t like cauliflower I wouldn’t bother.

‘ I have not seen any examples of anyone on Parler “plotting murder and terrorism”. So, blind as well as being fucking stupid.

But the good news is that you’ll be able to go back to your law school and get a complete and entire refund!

True, but there are only so many landscaping companies adjacent to a dildo shop and facing a crematorium. Honestly, far fewer than you think. It’s not like you can just phone them up and book a press briefing...

Chainmail Washcloth will be the name of my next band. 

Known to all as ‘Sticky Dickie’.

Love this story, both hilarious and utterly horrifying.

Also known as ‘Commotion Lotion’ and ‘Wreck The Hoose Juice’. I think it’s Scotland’s answer to an aging population. More seriously it’s actually a serious problem, and a lot of bodies, including the Police, are calling for the recipe to be changed, as at least half the violent drunks they arrest are drinking Buckie,…

I’ll believe that.

Like this? And a fantastic, engrossing read too, Jason, thanks very much.

First get it out of the neck of the bottle....

‘So you want this amoxicillin and fish antibiotics for what exactly?\

‘...use a straw if you want’. If I could use a straw I would’nt need the cranberry drink....

And also what if, for some reason, it comes loose and falls? On the road it seems the truck is given clearance on a closed carriageway, so just the blade would just hit an empty road, rather than having something two hundred foot long falling from the sky.

A truly fine director who successfully worked in most styles and genres, but no obit so far seems to have mentioned The Squeeze, a very grimy and nasty British crime thriller, made in 1977, and with a terrific cast including Stacy Keach, Steven Boyd, David Hemmings and Carol White. One of those seemingly forgotten…