I Forgot about this. This is so fucking awesome. I don't think it'd work for an iphone, but I'd go with this plus a hand tooled leather utility belt. Bonus points if it's in the color of my crest and arms. Apparently, I'm living at the Renn Fair in my fantasy.

I wish I was fibbing! My dad uses a clip on his belt and his phone has been stolen right off his clip.

I don't carry a purse, but when I'm with my boyfriend's family all the men seem to ask ME to carry their shit (even though they seem to be fine when I'm not around). So I have to make sure I have a purse if I see them because I end up four wallets, 4 sets of keys, 4 phones and whatever else they throw at me. It's the…

Belt clip is the equivalent to wearing a fanny pack, on your fanny.

BUT THINK ABOUT ALL THE GEAR YOU COULD PUT IN YOUR BOOBS.

I was JUST complaining about this to a guy friend.

I wear a size 25 jean in women's but I also own a few pair of man jeans for doing hefty building stuff. I'm always AMAZED by how much pocket I have—down to the mid-thigh in one of the man-jeans I own! I can put EVERYTHING in them. The crazy thing is the material is…

I called my adult partner over and I was like LOOK. LOOK. He was like, "Is that Ryan?"

SPOILER ALERT: His best friend is a hippo named boo boo butt.

I thought the same thing. I thought maybe he was selling his sperm or something.

THE SUCKING NOISE.

They make one at a restaurant near me. It was amazing and I was wired for an hour after. So, try it but not too late.

I've been ordering Americano's lately because its got 3x shots versus 2x shots in the other drinks. It's also half the price.

Don't worry you're in good company. When I worked night shifts we'd start out with 2-4 shots and have another round of 2-4 shots after an hour or two. ;)

I'm only going to refer to vagina/vulva's/penises as 'giant hairy octopi'. My kids are going to really love hentai.

Everyone knows that when you have more sex you have to take more pills on that day. The convenience fee is like the sin tax for cigarettes. If you need more pills, you are committing more sin and have to pay the government more tithe. —Rick Santorum School of Medicine and Law

Wait...is that Saruman?!

Man. THIS RIGHT HERE. We tried to explain this to a friend's parents the other day. The mother kept insisting that "female" was fine to use. I ended the conversation by doing my best Steve Irwin impression, "Luk at tha female theyr beyond tha boosh!"

PRUNES

Before the cultural appropriation discussion starts (which is appropriate and warranted) I'd like to add a thought:

Double Post.